I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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