She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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