love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
