I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
