I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize