I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
