I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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