He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
