Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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