he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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