I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
