I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize