Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I could make wine with my vomit
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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