Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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