just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
