so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize