they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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