the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
