It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
