i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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