ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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