So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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