the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How does one acquire holy water?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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