i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Floor bacon is actually really good
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize