Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
