if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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