If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
