I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize