Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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