my room smells like sperm. sweet.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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