I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
