Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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