You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
