I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
