did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
