We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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