i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
