Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
