i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
