Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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