Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
