I'm going to jail i love you
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
