It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
