Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
