You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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