Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
