Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
