so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
