i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
