what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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