her vagine was all disorganized.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I touched a dick in church today
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
