we have officially lost it.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
