i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
