All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
