So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
